Yes, today I have decided about to write suicide. It is the most damning and worst thing that exists in this world. I want to share a story of an 11 year old boy who decided to commit suicide.
His name for confidentiality sake let’s consider as Naveen. He was studying in the 6th standard and his school was not more than a kilometer from his home. He was medium built boy for his age, bit short than his peers, short hairs, not so fair and mildly ugly face.
He was very much interested in sports and especially cricket. It was his all time passion. He used to do bowl with imaginary cricket ball in his hand to imaginary bats men at an imaginary end. He used to hit sixes and boundaries with his imaginary bat out of the deliveries bowled by his imaginary bowlers. Also he used to take great catches by catching balls bouncing off the wall and land on the bed.
People used to made fun of him for his peculiar habit. But he never cared. He was sure that once in his life he will play for Indian Cricket team. He admired budding Sachin Tendulkar and worshipped Kapil Dev. His love for cricket was hereditary. His father was also mad about cricket. His father made him to sit on his lap and explain him the rules and players of cricket. ‘This is Graham Gooch, he is dangerous batsmen’, ‘This is Vivian Richards he is a nightmare to bowlers’, ‘If bowler steps out of crease line while bowling it’s a no-ball’, ‘This is Kapil Dev and he is a boon to Indian cricket’………..
Inculcation of cricket passion helped to his son helped his father in some way. If a match is ongoing on a working day his father would call him from office and ask about the score and discuss about the fate of the match. I’m talking about golden 80s when there were no any Cable TVs or internet.
Naveen was so immersed in cricket that it was the only thing which he thought about while he was eating, reading, bathing, walking, running, playing etc. Also he played lot of cricket with his friends. However, it was difficult to play cricket on school days but second half of Saturdays and entire day of Sundays were filled with countless Cricket matches.
When you love someone or something so much then obviously you will ignore other people or things. Naveen ignored his studies. A class test was scheduled during India’s tour to Australia and he could not read properly for his test and he flunked.
Post 7 days after test the progress card was distributed to entire class. Naveen took his report card and stared at it in shock. ‘F’ was written against General Science and Social Studies. However, he was barely able to pass in other subjects. I wonder why ‘Fail’ starts with ‘F’, the reason may be that even ‘Fuck’ also starts with ‘F’. Fail means you have Fucked up pretty badly.
Naveen was completely blank about what he was supposed to do next. It was school’s rule that progress card of students had to be signed by the parents and he knew his father would beat him black and blue if he sees the ‘F’ in the progress report. It was the biggest problem he faced in his life. He was confused and tensed about his next action. It was the biggest challenge for a 11 year old kid.
First he thought he will consult B. Manjunath who was consistently failed in tests but was prompt in obtaining his parents signatures on progress report.
‘Hey Manju! You know I failed in Science and Social Studies man’
Manjunath appeared cool ‘I know buddy, but why do you appear so worried?’
‘You know’ said Naveen ‘My father will beat me up badly if he comes to know that I have failed’
‘That means you never failed in any tests?’ asked surprised Manjunath.
‘No Manju, I don’t know what to do now. How come your parents sign your progress report when you fail?’
Manjunath was trying to suppress his laugh ‘Who said my parents will sign?’ He looked either side and made sure that no one is listening to their conversation and said ‘I sign my progress card. My mother’s signature is too easy to copy. So they will not know if I have failed or passed’.
‘I can’t copy my father’s sign it’s too difficult. If teacher gets doubt then I will be in more trouble’
Manjunath looked at Naveen in pity ‘Give it to me I can copy any kind of signatures. No one will get doubt. How about your mother’s signature?’ asked Manjunath.
Naveen shook his head ‘No friend! I would not like to do this’.
After this conversation Naveen left with no other choice but to confront his father. But he did not had enough courage to walk up to his father and say that he had failed in exams and he had failed him. That was impossible. His father was very much particular about their studies. His father always kept saying that ‘I will spend all my earnings on your health and education but not on making properties. If I make property it can be stolen by others but no one can steal your education and knowledge. Its more important’. Also he had seen how his elder sister Latha was treated when she dint pass in 1 subject in one of the subject. She was not beaten but his father did not speak to her for an entire week. Later she pleaded to their father to speak to him.
As his sister was a girl beating her was prohibited but not for Naveen and his younger brother, they were been beaten at many instances. Naveen being most mischievous of the lot got beaten more than anyone. But Naveen was convinced that his parents love him more so he gets beaten more often.
He knew for sure that he will get beaten. But he was more worried about other outcomes like sending him to boarding school or throwing him out of the home. He was not yet ready for them. He liked boarding school but what will happen to his cricket team without him. They would be devastated. He can’t abandon his team while they are all planning to play against 8th grade team next year. So going to boarding school was out of the option. He imagined many times to be thrown out of the home and inspired by movies he always dreamed that he would stumble upon a pup which he would name as Tiger. Eventually he and his dog will be adopted by a childless couple. The sweet childless couple would never send him to school but will ask him to play what he wants and practice cricket. After 7 or 8 years he will be selected to Indian cricket team. While his first match is telecasted live on television then his biological parents will recognize him and will come to take him back. After much of sentimental scenes he will be accepted by both biological and adopted parents and they all live happily ever after.
At last he decided that next day will be his last day. He would end his life as he is not sure of running away from home and also he was sure that his dad will never forgive him for failing in test.
He decided that next day he would end his life. He concluded that he dint had courage to approach his father and admit that he has failed in test and also he was not ready to face the consequences that would arise by this blunder he had made.
Once he had made up his mind he thought about the ways he would end his life. First he thought about hanging himself but that would be practically impossible as he was around 4 feet tall and ceiling fan was suspended at around 15 feet from ground. Next option he thought about was running into a speeding train but this was also rejected as he that it would be more painful. Third option he thought about was to drink poison and he felt this is more sensible than other two options. So taking poison was finalized. He knew that fastest poison was cyanide as he saw in television that LTTE people consumed poison but he did not know who would sell or if he can afford it. Hence the cheap option was consuming RAT POISON which was available for 50 paise.
Next day, which was also scheduled last day of Naveen he thought of doing some good things. First thing he did was to give all his marbles to his brother. Then he went up to his neighbor’s dog Tiger and played with him for 10 minutes and bid his good bye. He asked his mother to cook his favorite breakfast. After having breakfast he hugged and kissed his mother. Also early morning he went for jog with his father and played badminton with him.
At school he tried to be nice with everyone. But still some people irritated him but he did not bother. He begged his teacher to give him one more day to get the signed progress card. His heart sank when he saw his crush. He always imagined that one day he will save her from a accident or from villains and she will fall in love with him. But now he has to sacrifice her. He told to his cricket team captain that Murali Mohan will be his replacement in case if he don’t come to match any time.
Towards the end of the class he realized that he dint get money to buy the rat poison. But he was not in mood to postpone the plan so he asked his friend Manjunath to lend him 50 paise which he promised to return next day.
After school he went to grocery store and purchase rat poison. He decided to take the poison after dinner. Evening he played cricket with his friends and ate cream bun with his father. For a moment his father placed his hand on Naveen’s head and his face flushed hot. But he realized that he might not meet his father’s expectation anytime. Also he was happy that his brother whom his father loved more will meet all his expectations.
After dinner he secretly mixed the rat poison into a glass of water. The water color changed to black. He bought the glass to his lips and paused for a moment. His father called for him and in panic he started to drink the poison mixed water. Although the water tasted like metal he gulped it down in haste.
Few minutes later he started feeling sleepy and before sleeping he thought that this would his last sleep. He closed his eyes and there was only darkness.
Well, that’s the end of Naveen and you all know what might have happen next.
Let me end the suspense. Nothing happened to Naveen he is fine and he wrote what you are reading now. Yes, Naveen is me. I gave name Naveen to create some suspense and it’s true that I tried to commit suicide. I was a boy and really stupid to do that. Now when I think I feel I was so childish and thank god that I dint die.
Next day when I was awake from my so called “last sleep” I was surprised that I was not dead. I was scared again as I did not had any other choice but to confront my father. To my surprise my dad did not react violently but was angry on me but he did sign the progress report. I promised myself I will not flunk again. To the contrary I flunked again in future not once but twice, I was courageous enough to face the situation.
I still feel that committing suicide is one of the heinous things to do in this world. It’s only killing yourself but killing one’s soul. I don’t want to lecture about anti-suicide but want to say that hope is the only pill for a depressed soul.
Why did I choose to write this? May be one day my children would read this and know that I’m not perfect after all and I did do really stupid things in my life and still be proud of me.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Love Letter
As I have mentioned in one of my previous blog that my writing skills have paid me as I used to write love letters to my friends and classmates. It happened that I met one of my old friends, Srikanth today and we had a long chat. During our conversation he reminded me of a love letter I wrote which he gave to his classmate and she fell in love with him. Eventually they got separated for some reasons which I would not like to mention here. But his girl friend, sorry, ex-girl friend was the hardest case I ever dealt with. I had a reputation of making girl’s heart melt with my writing but to be frank none of the girl’s heart melted for me.
The story goes this way, Srikanth met this girl in his class and he was head over heels about this girl. Obviously she was good looking and even my friend was not as hopeless as me in looks. But he was bit scared to approach this girl directly so he came to me seeking help. I took basic information required and wrote my standard template letter and gave it to me. Next day he came back, I thought he would have come to me to thank or to take me for a party. So I got up to congratulate him. He was bit stressed out and said that girl tore off the letter written by me. My heart sank and this was first time that my standard love letter template failed. I enquired with Srikanth if she read the letter completely. He answered that she dint even bothered to go through the letter she tore it without even glancing upon it. I could not believe that someone would be so stone hearted that they will tear off a letter written to them. At least they need to have some courtesy to look at it once because writing a love letter is not easy task it takes lot of effort, especially if you haven’t seen that person and you are not in love with that person.
I took it as a challenge, so collected lot of information about this girl and his feelings for her. I sat down one evening to write that letter. Surprisingly I could not write a word, I never thought that there will be a scenario where I will have to think further to my standard template. I was completely blank.
Next day I went to Srikanth’s college and met him. I told him that I’m not able to write anything as I feel that I have insufficient information and asked him to show me this girl. He agreed and we waited at a tea centre outside his college. I was having tea my with my left hand and smoking a cigarette with my right hand. At once Srikanth goaded me with such force that tea almost spilled on my dress. He said see there is she in white salwar kameez. I was bit irritated initially and looked at the direction he pointed. I clearly remember there were three girls and the girl in white salwar kameez was in between other two girls whom I dint bothered to look at. My entire focus was on White; she was in between 5.2 feet to 5.6 feet and had shoulder length hairs. She was beautiful indeed and she would make any boy to fall flat for her. So I felt my friend is completely innocent in this case as if I was in his position I also would have done same thing. After discussion few more things with my friend I came to home and sat again with my paper and pen. I wrote whatever I felt dint bother to review it or correct it, it was continuously non-stop for an hour. However, what’s written below is its dramatic reconstruction as the original copy of that letter might have been torn off long back. The letter might not be the exact copy of the original but in summary and message conveyed is same as original.
Hi,
I think you know who I’m by now. I wanted to ask you something, hope that tearing off my previous letter did not hurt your hands.
I don’t want to beat around the bush I just wanted to say you that I do like you a lot. May be I don’t know much about you but, I’m sure that I will like everything about you. Its not that I’m exaggerating but it’s the fact. From the moment I lay my eyes on you I knew that you are the one for me.
I do know that you keep hearing what I said from countless boys like me and to a girl like your stature will hear it more than required. You can shrug off me. Yes, you have every right to do it. I don’t want to push you for anything. Even if you reject me I do assure you that I will not trouble you in any way or will stalk you. All I want you to do is read this letter with open heart and do what you think is right.
Before you go any further I would like to ask you one more thing. If you are in love with someone already please stop here. There is no point in going further.
If you are reading this then I assume that you have not fallen love yet or if you have then he is the most boring person alive in this world. I wish his loss is going to be my gain.
I’m getting nervous as you reading further. Anyway, I need to make my point. Let me tell something more about myself. I’m from a middle class family and I’m the first son to my parents. My dad is an government employee and my mother is an housewife. I do have a brother who is studying in school. I’m average in my studies and not a genius or outstanding student.
You might think I’m a flirt and I would write these kind of letters to many other girls. This is my first love letter and even if you don’t believe me you can ask around and find out if I’m that kind of person. I really have no idea why I’m writing this letter to you. May be the reason is that I communicate very poorly through talking and one more reason is that my mouth seals itself whenever I see you and I can’t come up with single sensible sentence.
Now coming to the reason why I’m loving you. To be frank I don’t know the reason. As I told earlier, first time I lay my eyes on you I felt that you are the one in my life. Its really weired because I never felt so for anyone. I did liked few girls earlier but no one had captivated me as you did.
Till date I thought when someone said that you will know when you meet or see a person who is perfect for you is completely bull shit. But now I know what they exactly meant at the moment I saw you. I felt like god is pointing his finger at you and saying ‘Son, this is the girl I made for you. Now don’t wander around like a fool, go and claim what is yours for this life’. You might not believe me but I can certify that whatever written here is nothing but truth.
So I know I will like anything about you. I do think that we are made for each other. I can prove this to you. All I need is you to give me a chance and I assure that this chance will be for lifetime. There might be few things in me that you might not like about me but, I’m ready to change for you. That’s the least I can do for you.
If you are ready to accept me and the relation goes further and later there can be usual Indian parents opposing episode and altercations. If you are ready to stand by me I can promise that I will go to any extent to convince both of our parents and marry you and stay with you till my last breath.
You can also deny my proposal and walk away. Yes, that would hurt me and it would take some time for me to recover but you should not worry I will not take any extreme steps and will not hurt you. But I’m sure that you are love of my life. You can come back to me late at any stage of my life you will find me with same kind of love for you.
Tomorrow you can fall in love with someone whom you might consider is perfect for you or your parents might marry off to a stranger who they consider is perfect for you. Also that person might not know the actual worth of having you in their life. He might take you for granted and use like a show piece to world or worse. At that point do remember that there is someone who knows what you are and respect you for what you are and who loves you truly.
I don’t know what god has really planned for me. If I miss you now and if my love is true (which I’m sure of) I will meet you at some other point of life. No matter what’s the condition I would be at that time but we will fall in love. It might not be a perfect love story but what is perfect in this world? Love is like god who does not follow a fixed pattern or rules made by human. It can happen at any time and at any stage.
I don’t have anything else to say. I have written bluntly about my feelings and I have not tried to use poetic or sublime language but this is the way I’m.
I know that I’m not perfect but I also know that you will make me perfect and I will try my best to make you perfect.
Yours lovingly _______________
To my surprise that girl accepted my friend’s proposal. I got my money and treat as promised. But for some unknown reason they broke-up after a year. I also dint dig-up much. But I felt bit bad as I writing that letter took lot of effort.
But now I’m happy that by recreating that letter and uploading it in my blog I have immortalized it.
The story goes this way, Srikanth met this girl in his class and he was head over heels about this girl. Obviously she was good looking and even my friend was not as hopeless as me in looks. But he was bit scared to approach this girl directly so he came to me seeking help. I took basic information required and wrote my standard template letter and gave it to me. Next day he came back, I thought he would have come to me to thank or to take me for a party. So I got up to congratulate him. He was bit stressed out and said that girl tore off the letter written by me. My heart sank and this was first time that my standard love letter template failed. I enquired with Srikanth if she read the letter completely. He answered that she dint even bothered to go through the letter she tore it without even glancing upon it. I could not believe that someone would be so stone hearted that they will tear off a letter written to them. At least they need to have some courtesy to look at it once because writing a love letter is not easy task it takes lot of effort, especially if you haven’t seen that person and you are not in love with that person.
I took it as a challenge, so collected lot of information about this girl and his feelings for her. I sat down one evening to write that letter. Surprisingly I could not write a word, I never thought that there will be a scenario where I will have to think further to my standard template. I was completely blank.
Next day I went to Srikanth’s college and met him. I told him that I’m not able to write anything as I feel that I have insufficient information and asked him to show me this girl. He agreed and we waited at a tea centre outside his college. I was having tea my with my left hand and smoking a cigarette with my right hand. At once Srikanth goaded me with such force that tea almost spilled on my dress. He said see there is she in white salwar kameez. I was bit irritated initially and looked at the direction he pointed. I clearly remember there were three girls and the girl in white salwar kameez was in between other two girls whom I dint bothered to look at. My entire focus was on White; she was in between 5.2 feet to 5.6 feet and had shoulder length hairs. She was beautiful indeed and she would make any boy to fall flat for her. So I felt my friend is completely innocent in this case as if I was in his position I also would have done same thing. After discussion few more things with my friend I came to home and sat again with my paper and pen. I wrote whatever I felt dint bother to review it or correct it, it was continuously non-stop for an hour. However, what’s written below is its dramatic reconstruction as the original copy of that letter might have been torn off long back. The letter might not be the exact copy of the original but in summary and message conveyed is same as original.
Hi,
I think you know who I’m by now. I wanted to ask you something, hope that tearing off my previous letter did not hurt your hands.
I don’t want to beat around the bush I just wanted to say you that I do like you a lot. May be I don’t know much about you but, I’m sure that I will like everything about you. Its not that I’m exaggerating but it’s the fact. From the moment I lay my eyes on you I knew that you are the one for me.
I do know that you keep hearing what I said from countless boys like me and to a girl like your stature will hear it more than required. You can shrug off me. Yes, you have every right to do it. I don’t want to push you for anything. Even if you reject me I do assure you that I will not trouble you in any way or will stalk you. All I want you to do is read this letter with open heart and do what you think is right.
Before you go any further I would like to ask you one more thing. If you are in love with someone already please stop here. There is no point in going further.
If you are reading this then I assume that you have not fallen love yet or if you have then he is the most boring person alive in this world. I wish his loss is going to be my gain.
I’m getting nervous as you reading further. Anyway, I need to make my point. Let me tell something more about myself. I’m from a middle class family and I’m the first son to my parents. My dad is an government employee and my mother is an housewife. I do have a brother who is studying in school. I’m average in my studies and not a genius or outstanding student.
You might think I’m a flirt and I would write these kind of letters to many other girls. This is my first love letter and even if you don’t believe me you can ask around and find out if I’m that kind of person. I really have no idea why I’m writing this letter to you. May be the reason is that I communicate very poorly through talking and one more reason is that my mouth seals itself whenever I see you and I can’t come up with single sensible sentence.
Now coming to the reason why I’m loving you. To be frank I don’t know the reason. As I told earlier, first time I lay my eyes on you I felt that you are the one in my life. Its really weired because I never felt so for anyone. I did liked few girls earlier but no one had captivated me as you did.
Till date I thought when someone said that you will know when you meet or see a person who is perfect for you is completely bull shit. But now I know what they exactly meant at the moment I saw you. I felt like god is pointing his finger at you and saying ‘Son, this is the girl I made for you. Now don’t wander around like a fool, go and claim what is yours for this life’. You might not believe me but I can certify that whatever written here is nothing but truth.
So I know I will like anything about you. I do think that we are made for each other. I can prove this to you. All I need is you to give me a chance and I assure that this chance will be for lifetime. There might be few things in me that you might not like about me but, I’m ready to change for you. That’s the least I can do for you.
If you are ready to accept me and the relation goes further and later there can be usual Indian parents opposing episode and altercations. If you are ready to stand by me I can promise that I will go to any extent to convince both of our parents and marry you and stay with you till my last breath.
You can also deny my proposal and walk away. Yes, that would hurt me and it would take some time for me to recover but you should not worry I will not take any extreme steps and will not hurt you. But I’m sure that you are love of my life. You can come back to me late at any stage of my life you will find me with same kind of love for you.
Tomorrow you can fall in love with someone whom you might consider is perfect for you or your parents might marry off to a stranger who they consider is perfect for you. Also that person might not know the actual worth of having you in their life. He might take you for granted and use like a show piece to world or worse. At that point do remember that there is someone who knows what you are and respect you for what you are and who loves you truly.
I don’t know what god has really planned for me. If I miss you now and if my love is true (which I’m sure of) I will meet you at some other point of life. No matter what’s the condition I would be at that time but we will fall in love. It might not be a perfect love story but what is perfect in this world? Love is like god who does not follow a fixed pattern or rules made by human. It can happen at any time and at any stage.
I don’t have anything else to say. I have written bluntly about my feelings and I have not tried to use poetic or sublime language but this is the way I’m.
I know that I’m not perfect but I also know that you will make me perfect and I will try my best to make you perfect.
Yours lovingly _______________
To my surprise that girl accepted my friend’s proposal. I got my money and treat as promised. But for some unknown reason they broke-up after a year. I also dint dig-up much. But I felt bit bad as I writing that letter took lot of effort.
But now I’m happy that by recreating that letter and uploading it in my blog I have immortalized it.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
FIGHT
Hit me, punch me, crush me and bring me down with all your might
But you can't hold me down forever
My spirit has wings of its own, it will fly
It will soar and it knows where the sky ends
You can hide me, cage me, torture me and amputate me
But you can't make a caged bird sing
You can't lock my inner light, I will rise
I will shine and my inner light will blind you
If you are still not satisfied you can kill me
But you can't kill my desire
You can't capture my will, It is free
Just like my soul which is stronger than you
I will fight till my last drop of blood
I will keep my hope alive till my last breath
You are warrior of Darkness, I'm the warrior of Light
I will assure you might win the battle
But I swear on god I will win the war.
- MAHESH KOTEKERE
But you can't hold me down forever
My spirit has wings of its own, it will fly
It will soar and it knows where the sky ends
You can hide me, cage me, torture me and amputate me
But you can't make a caged bird sing
You can't lock my inner light, I will rise
I will shine and my inner light will blind you
If you are still not satisfied you can kill me
But you can't kill my desire
You can't capture my will, It is free
Just like my soul which is stronger than you
I will fight till my last drop of blood
I will keep my hope alive till my last breath
You are warrior of Darkness, I'm the warrior of Light
I will assure you might win the battle
But I swear on god I will win the war.
- MAHESH KOTEKERE
Monday, January 16, 2012
MY BREAK-UP
03 Jan 2012
Today is the day which I have been postponing since very long. Now it is the time to sit with her and explain her that ‘This is it! I don’t want to be in this relation anymore. Hope you understand me’.
It is very hard to end a relationship which is 16 years old. But everyone will agree with me that if the other person is harming you in a way beyond you can imagine then ending the relation is the smartest option.
Let me not beat around the bush, ‘I’m breaking up with my smoking’. Yes, I know many of you would think that I’m being silly or I’m writing this just to create hype. But my friends, to be frank I had very close relation with my smoking habit. All my smoking friends especially men will understand what I really mean.
My relation started with smoking around 17 years ago. It was around 8 pm and I was going to shop to get betel leaves for my dad. I saw someone has left half smoked cigarette on road without extinguishing it. I was always curious about smoking as my dad used to smoke. I stopped and checked if anyone is noticing me on the road. Road was quiet deserted. I took the cigarette in my hand. I couldn’t see the brand as it was dark. I placed the butt of the cigarette in my mouth and took in the warm smoke. Surprisingly I dint cough as most of the timers do, may be smoking was in my genes.
Again I met her roughly a year after. It was in public park in Mariyappana playa. Me and 2 of my friends decided to smoke. We decided to try it out in park secretly. We were scared to get it from the shops where we usually visit as the news can reach our parents so we purchased it from a shop which is almost 1 km away from our home.
From then on my smoking continued very much sporadically till I was 18 years old. I entered my degree college. Those were the days during which I decided I will be free and do what I like. My smoking increased from sporadically to 1 or 2 packs a day. I became addicted to her. 80% of the smokes were of shared as I would not get any allowance.
It continued unabated during my MSc days. Also in Msc I had friends from West Bengal who are known to be passionate smokers which encouraged me to dive in to abyss with my smoking.
After my MSc I joined Call Centre. I would like to describe Call Centre as the nursery and grooming centre for smokers. The stress and pressure a person undergoes in a Call Centre would goad him to take shelter in paradise called smoking to keep them under control. Also the nursery doesn’t have gender bias. First time I saw ladies smoking was in Call Centre which is big thing for me given the reason that I’m Indian. I never minded that also I did not think that borrowing a cigarette or lighter or match box from a lady as an insult to my ego.
Later I joined an MNC which involved lot of travelling which also encouraged my habit. Also I was free when I was in different city where I can smoke whatever and how much ever I need. Also we made complete utilization of smoker’s zone in our office.
My darling gave me a shock in 2007, ‘Severe Bronchitis’. I was so sick that I was not able to walk for 10 meters as I would get shortness of breath or dyspnea. Doctor suggested to quit smoking, which I did but for only 6 months. I recovered both my health and my smoking.
Everything was fine until recently I saw my almost 3 years old son imitating my smoking. It was devastating and also as an ideal father I don’t want him to follow my foot steps in this at least. I felt like kicking myself for imparting my bad habits to him. That became a solid reason for me to decide to quit smoking which I was been contemplating for over a year.
Decision was made but I do know that the road ahead will not be smooth. I have heard of withdrawal symptoms and we cannot quit smoking instantly but I have made up my mind. Hope I will have the courage and determination to come out of it completely.
Whatever I’m writing now is kind of obituary to the relation I had with my smoking. It may be easy for someone who has never smoked to tell ‘What’s so big in it?’ I feel like kicking that person. A smoker can only understand what other smokers go through and how hard it is.
Question is what have my smoking given to me? Well, it was with me when no one was there. The following instances will help.
1. It was there when I would feel happy.
2. It was there when I sat with my friends and dint talk a single word but made useful conversations.
3. It was the coolest thing in college. Many might deny but the hell it is!
4. It was there when I was listening to my girl friend without losing track.
5. It was there with me when I fought with my near and dear ones.
6. It was there when I remember my childhood.
7. It was there with me when I remembered closest people I lost.
8. It was there with me when I met my friends after long time.
9. It was there with me when I was stressed to hell and helped me to sing ‘main zindagi ke saath nibatha chala gaya, har fikr to duae mein udatha chala gaya…..’
10. No drinking session is complete without a smoke.
Many more instances but enough let me not get more nostalgic and crave for a smoke.
I started taking Nicorette which was supposed to help in quitting the habit but it tastes like hell. Also I'm not so interested in taking Electronic Cigarette. Nothing can replace the original friends. Whoever tries to give me an idea of Electronic Cigarette I feel like telling to them that its same as sleeping with inflatable doll.
Cigarette smoking is injurious to health. I agree, but there are many other things which are also injurious. Using chemically saturated make ups, using high heels, eating junk food, etc. etc. But no one opposes it. Bloody hypocrite world.
I will miss the aroma of the cigarette smoke and the pleasure of smoking itself.
16 Jan 2012
It’s been more than 12 days since I stopped smoking. I’m feeling better. Anyone can do this
P.S. – I smoked 2 cigarettes on 11 Jan 2012 when I met my friends and had 3 mugs of beer. I think it’s ok.
Today is the day which I have been postponing since very long. Now it is the time to sit with her and explain her that ‘This is it! I don’t want to be in this relation anymore. Hope you understand me’.
It is very hard to end a relationship which is 16 years old. But everyone will agree with me that if the other person is harming you in a way beyond you can imagine then ending the relation is the smartest option.
Let me not beat around the bush, ‘I’m breaking up with my smoking’. Yes, I know many of you would think that I’m being silly or I’m writing this just to create hype. But my friends, to be frank I had very close relation with my smoking habit. All my smoking friends especially men will understand what I really mean.
My relation started with smoking around 17 years ago. It was around 8 pm and I was going to shop to get betel leaves for my dad. I saw someone has left half smoked cigarette on road without extinguishing it. I was always curious about smoking as my dad used to smoke. I stopped and checked if anyone is noticing me on the road. Road was quiet deserted. I took the cigarette in my hand. I couldn’t see the brand as it was dark. I placed the butt of the cigarette in my mouth and took in the warm smoke. Surprisingly I dint cough as most of the timers do, may be smoking was in my genes.
Again I met her roughly a year after. It was in public park in Mariyappana playa. Me and 2 of my friends decided to smoke. We decided to try it out in park secretly. We were scared to get it from the shops where we usually visit as the news can reach our parents so we purchased it from a shop which is almost 1 km away from our home.
From then on my smoking continued very much sporadically till I was 18 years old. I entered my degree college. Those were the days during which I decided I will be free and do what I like. My smoking increased from sporadically to 1 or 2 packs a day. I became addicted to her. 80% of the smokes were of shared as I would not get any allowance.
It continued unabated during my MSc days. Also in Msc I had friends from West Bengal who are known to be passionate smokers which encouraged me to dive in to abyss with my smoking.
After my MSc I joined Call Centre. I would like to describe Call Centre as the nursery and grooming centre for smokers. The stress and pressure a person undergoes in a Call Centre would goad him to take shelter in paradise called smoking to keep them under control. Also the nursery doesn’t have gender bias. First time I saw ladies smoking was in Call Centre which is big thing for me given the reason that I’m Indian. I never minded that also I did not think that borrowing a cigarette or lighter or match box from a lady as an insult to my ego.
Later I joined an MNC which involved lot of travelling which also encouraged my habit. Also I was free when I was in different city where I can smoke whatever and how much ever I need. Also we made complete utilization of smoker’s zone in our office.
My darling gave me a shock in 2007, ‘Severe Bronchitis’. I was so sick that I was not able to walk for 10 meters as I would get shortness of breath or dyspnea. Doctor suggested to quit smoking, which I did but for only 6 months. I recovered both my health and my smoking.
Everything was fine until recently I saw my almost 3 years old son imitating my smoking. It was devastating and also as an ideal father I don’t want him to follow my foot steps in this at least. I felt like kicking myself for imparting my bad habits to him. That became a solid reason for me to decide to quit smoking which I was been contemplating for over a year.
Decision was made but I do know that the road ahead will not be smooth. I have heard of withdrawal symptoms and we cannot quit smoking instantly but I have made up my mind. Hope I will have the courage and determination to come out of it completely.
Whatever I’m writing now is kind of obituary to the relation I had with my smoking. It may be easy for someone who has never smoked to tell ‘What’s so big in it?’ I feel like kicking that person. A smoker can only understand what other smokers go through and how hard it is.
Question is what have my smoking given to me? Well, it was with me when no one was there. The following instances will help.
1. It was there when I would feel happy.
2. It was there when I sat with my friends and dint talk a single word but made useful conversations.
3. It was the coolest thing in college. Many might deny but the hell it is!
4. It was there when I was listening to my girl friend without losing track.
5. It was there with me when I fought with my near and dear ones.
6. It was there when I remember my childhood.
7. It was there with me when I remembered closest people I lost.
8. It was there with me when I met my friends after long time.
9. It was there with me when I was stressed to hell and helped me to sing ‘main zindagi ke saath nibatha chala gaya, har fikr to duae mein udatha chala gaya…..’
10. No drinking session is complete without a smoke.
Many more instances but enough let me not get more nostalgic and crave for a smoke.
I started taking Nicorette which was supposed to help in quitting the habit but it tastes like hell. Also I'm not so interested in taking Electronic Cigarette. Nothing can replace the original friends. Whoever tries to give me an idea of Electronic Cigarette I feel like telling to them that its same as sleeping with inflatable doll.
Cigarette smoking is injurious to health. I agree, but there are many other things which are also injurious. Using chemically saturated make ups, using high heels, eating junk food, etc. etc. But no one opposes it. Bloody hypocrite world.
I will miss the aroma of the cigarette smoke and the pleasure of smoking itself.
16 Jan 2012
It’s been more than 12 days since I stopped smoking. I’m feeling better. Anyone can do this
P.S. – I smoked 2 cigarettes on 11 Jan 2012 when I met my friends and had 3 mugs of beer. I think it’s ok.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Stanley Ka Dabba movie review
It’s been more than 1.5 years since I wrote in my blog. I did read about writer’s block which a stage comes in every writer’s life which might last for a day or days or weeks or months or years or in the worst case years also. Thankfully for me it did not lasted for one and a half year and hope that this will be the longest block. However, I did write few unfinished scripts and couple of short stories.
I have decided that I will be dedicating more to review the books and movies which I like most.
Today I’m going to write review about movie ‘Stanley Ka Dabba’.
I still remember crying almost like a baby when I watched ‘Taare Zameen par’. It’s not that I was also suffered from learning condition which Ishan Awasthi undergoes. But its more about the authenticity of the performance by everyone in the movie. I was totally in awe of Taare Zameen par title song, It was amazing to see those ‘special children’ performance used in that song and proud parents reactions. I do guess that they are original parents of children because no extras would have acted with so authenticity and believably which made that movie so good and real.
Again the same reason makes ‘Stanley Ka Dabba’ lovable. The reason may be Mr. Amol Gupte for both the movies. Who was creatively involved in former movie but we do know who took the credit.
Yes, I would like to applaud Mr. Amol Gupte for his startling ability not only to understand the children’s thoughts but also to render it on screen. Sir, you deserve hats off!
Right from the first shot where the Stanley prays to Mother Mary and till last frame movie is believable. It is a story of ‘Stanley’ studying in IV standard ‘F’ section aged around 9 or 10 years at Holy Family School. He appears to be average student and uncanny gift for story telling which impresses English Teacher, Rosy madam. He is covered by bruises sometimes and he has a story for each time. He doesn’t get his lunch box (dabba) which according to him is that his mother is away. He eats lunch shared by his friends. He is not liked by his science teacher, Mrs. Nair madam and hated by Hindi teacher, Ba. Bo, Varma (Khadoos) becuase he doesn’t get lunch dabba.
Mr. Khadoos played by Mr. Amol Gupte is for some reason has a huge appetite for others food. He is addicted to other people food. His lips get wet with anticipation of eating other people food and can easily smell if any student opens his box during class to have a bite of batata vada. I never seen or read about such condition but have reminded myself to google out if such condition does exists. Mr. Khadoos don’t mind searching other people lockers for food or to steal food from his colleague’s bag. Also he is not ashamed for asking food from others and bullying his class students to share their box. This condition of Mr. Khadoos makes him to hate Stanley as he don’t get his own food also takes his share of food, which is not surprising as instinctively we all hate people who wants to get our share.
When Stanley’s friend discovers that Stanley don’t get his lunch dabba and decides to share their lunch with them. But they have to do it without informing Mr. Khadoos as he wants his share of food. Its really funny to watch how they deceive and change locations each day. One fine day they get caught and Mr. Khadoos blasts Stanley and tells he has to enter school when he gets his own lunch dabba.
Then Stanley will be absent in school and his friends complains against Mr. Khadoos and which results in his ouster from the school. Stanley does get his lunch dabba and offers it to Mr. Khadoos but he is broken already. I liked one line in the letter which he writes to Stanley ‘Main aaine khud se haath nahi mila sakta kaise main tere se haath milaonga?’
Stanley will be selected for inter school concert which would be a good show and everyone appreciates it. We would be so sucked into movie that we never notice that we have not yet seen Stanley’s parents. After the concert he would be waiting for his mother but school’s father will drop him. Stanley enters a small restaurant and gets slaps and scolding from the hotel’s owner. Then we come to know that Stanley is orphan and movie does speak about Child Labor in India.
Sounds confusing? Yes, it does. It appears like beautiful stars arranged in haphazard manner and it does not make much sense when looked in whole. It could have been beautiful movie if few things were properly addressed like ‘Why was the fact that Stanley is orphan and in forced labor to be revealed at end?’ If so ‘What was the purpose of movie? If the purpose of movie is to highlight child labor then ‘why it has shown only in end and it is not emphasized anywhere else?’
I’m not a professional to suggest or to pinpoint errors but as I’m in a democratic country and free to express my opinion I would suggest that if the movie was about some dream or aim which Stanley was chasing it would have been better. At least they could have highlighted the concert song and dance.
Except those few flaws the movie is superb. We do feel like we are visiting a school and looking what is happening around. Performances by non-professional school children are better than other professionals in industry. The protagonist ‘Stanley’ played by Partho is a treat to watch, his talking, walking, eating, writing smiling, laughing etc. is just like him in normal life. That is what according to me acting is ‘We should not act, we should be them’.
Performance by other supporting actors are commendable especially Mr. Gupte. Songs are not integral part of movie but the last song is good to hear.
We all do know that Child Labor is evil and we need to abolish them. Please, my earning friends I urge you people to get in touch with any charitable trusts which do work toward abolishing child labor. I’m doing the same at the earliest. The movie did impact me as I cannot imagine my son in such condition. Also I would request all not to scold or hurt children whom we see on traffic signals. It’s high time for us to be human first and rest can wait.
The movie did bring back my school days and our lunch breaks. All the memories flooded back. It was truly a happiest moments when we shared food in school and talked about so many irrelevant things. We all had our own group of friends and fixed spots to have lunch. Few of my friends went to their home for lunch which I think is disaster as it was only time for us to socialize with friends.
I do remember that everyone appreciated my mom’s cooking. Few of my school friends still appreciate my mother’s food. But in college it was a different story I was not able to get lunch due to my financial conditions (which I never admitted openly). My friends Soma Shekar and Srikanth paid for my lunch many times in hotel during my P.U.C. Sathnarayana (Shasthri) and Srinivas (Seena) literally fed from their lunch box for 3 years during BSc. My friends in MSc Santosh, Abhishek Das, Nirmallya and Harsha did take me to their hostel mess to have lunch although I was not allowed. I would like to thank all of them for being such a good friends and they do have special place in my heart.
Once again Thanks and Hats Off to Mr. Amol Gupte.
I have decided that I will be dedicating more to review the books and movies which I like most.
Today I’m going to write review about movie ‘Stanley Ka Dabba’.
I still remember crying almost like a baby when I watched ‘Taare Zameen par’. It’s not that I was also suffered from learning condition which Ishan Awasthi undergoes. But its more about the authenticity of the performance by everyone in the movie. I was totally in awe of Taare Zameen par title song, It was amazing to see those ‘special children’ performance used in that song and proud parents reactions. I do guess that they are original parents of children because no extras would have acted with so authenticity and believably which made that movie so good and real.
Again the same reason makes ‘Stanley Ka Dabba’ lovable. The reason may be Mr. Amol Gupte for both the movies. Who was creatively involved in former movie but we do know who took the credit.
Yes, I would like to applaud Mr. Amol Gupte for his startling ability not only to understand the children’s thoughts but also to render it on screen. Sir, you deserve hats off!
Right from the first shot where the Stanley prays to Mother Mary and till last frame movie is believable. It is a story of ‘Stanley’ studying in IV standard ‘F’ section aged around 9 or 10 years at Holy Family School. He appears to be average student and uncanny gift for story telling which impresses English Teacher, Rosy madam. He is covered by bruises sometimes and he has a story for each time. He doesn’t get his lunch box (dabba) which according to him is that his mother is away. He eats lunch shared by his friends. He is not liked by his science teacher, Mrs. Nair madam and hated by Hindi teacher, Ba. Bo, Varma (Khadoos) becuase he doesn’t get lunch dabba.
Mr. Khadoos played by Mr. Amol Gupte is for some reason has a huge appetite for others food. He is addicted to other people food. His lips get wet with anticipation of eating other people food and can easily smell if any student opens his box during class to have a bite of batata vada. I never seen or read about such condition but have reminded myself to google out if such condition does exists. Mr. Khadoos don’t mind searching other people lockers for food or to steal food from his colleague’s bag. Also he is not ashamed for asking food from others and bullying his class students to share their box. This condition of Mr. Khadoos makes him to hate Stanley as he don’t get his own food also takes his share of food, which is not surprising as instinctively we all hate people who wants to get our share.
When Stanley’s friend discovers that Stanley don’t get his lunch dabba and decides to share their lunch with them. But they have to do it without informing Mr. Khadoos as he wants his share of food. Its really funny to watch how they deceive and change locations each day. One fine day they get caught and Mr. Khadoos blasts Stanley and tells he has to enter school when he gets his own lunch dabba.
Then Stanley will be absent in school and his friends complains against Mr. Khadoos and which results in his ouster from the school. Stanley does get his lunch dabba and offers it to Mr. Khadoos but he is broken already. I liked one line in the letter which he writes to Stanley ‘Main aaine khud se haath nahi mila sakta kaise main tere se haath milaonga?’
Stanley will be selected for inter school concert which would be a good show and everyone appreciates it. We would be so sucked into movie that we never notice that we have not yet seen Stanley’s parents. After the concert he would be waiting for his mother but school’s father will drop him. Stanley enters a small restaurant and gets slaps and scolding from the hotel’s owner. Then we come to know that Stanley is orphan and movie does speak about Child Labor in India.
Sounds confusing? Yes, it does. It appears like beautiful stars arranged in haphazard manner and it does not make much sense when looked in whole. It could have been beautiful movie if few things were properly addressed like ‘Why was the fact that Stanley is orphan and in forced labor to be revealed at end?’ If so ‘What was the purpose of movie? If the purpose of movie is to highlight child labor then ‘why it has shown only in end and it is not emphasized anywhere else?’
I’m not a professional to suggest or to pinpoint errors but as I’m in a democratic country and free to express my opinion I would suggest that if the movie was about some dream or aim which Stanley was chasing it would have been better. At least they could have highlighted the concert song and dance.
Except those few flaws the movie is superb. We do feel like we are visiting a school and looking what is happening around. Performances by non-professional school children are better than other professionals in industry. The protagonist ‘Stanley’ played by Partho is a treat to watch, his talking, walking, eating, writing smiling, laughing etc. is just like him in normal life. That is what according to me acting is ‘We should not act, we should be them’.
Performance by other supporting actors are commendable especially Mr. Gupte. Songs are not integral part of movie but the last song is good to hear.
We all do know that Child Labor is evil and we need to abolish them. Please, my earning friends I urge you people to get in touch with any charitable trusts which do work toward abolishing child labor. I’m doing the same at the earliest. The movie did impact me as I cannot imagine my son in such condition. Also I would request all not to scold or hurt children whom we see on traffic signals. It’s high time for us to be human first and rest can wait.
The movie did bring back my school days and our lunch breaks. All the memories flooded back. It was truly a happiest moments when we shared food in school and talked about so many irrelevant things. We all had our own group of friends and fixed spots to have lunch. Few of my friends went to their home for lunch which I think is disaster as it was only time for us to socialize with friends.
I do remember that everyone appreciated my mom’s cooking. Few of my school friends still appreciate my mother’s food. But in college it was a different story I was not able to get lunch due to my financial conditions (which I never admitted openly). My friends Soma Shekar and Srikanth paid for my lunch many times in hotel during my P.U.C. Sathnarayana (Shasthri) and Srinivas (Seena) literally fed from their lunch box for 3 years during BSc. My friends in MSc Santosh, Abhishek Das, Nirmallya and Harsha did take me to their hostel mess to have lunch although I was not allowed. I would like to thank all of them for being such a good friends and they do have special place in my heart.
Once again Thanks and Hats Off to Mr. Amol Gupte.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
When we were Kings – Part 3
There is a saying that ‘Oil lamp will glow brighter when it is about to be extinguished’, which was true even in our case. We did glowed brighter in the final year without the knowledge that it is going to end shortly.
By now we did know about each other. We knew each person’s character, reactions, strengths, weakness and moods. We know who is true friend? Who is just a friend? Who needs to be avoided? Who needs our attention? We did not have any enemies. We did have few issues with everyone but no enemies. We were excited for being the seniors in the college as our college. Also we were happy that the college fest will be organized by us.
As I discussed earlier having a girl friend was considered to be a matter of pride during college days (we did not know the disadvantages of having one). We used to think that a girl can be impressed only by having a flashy bike or car or hefty bank balance of your parents. Me, neither Shashthri no Seena had any of them. Also we were too busy in having fun that we did not give much thought about that. Only Shashthri had few crushes but I and Seena just adored the beauties from distance.
It’s too hard to write the moment when you like someone at first sight. It’s too complicated. It’s unexplainable. It did happen to me. I can’t forget that day. We three of us were sitting at our usual spot at Navrang bus stop. It’s been only a week since the first year P.U.C classes were started. We were analyzing the people in bus stop at once my eyes singled out a person among the crowd. She was not very good looking nor was best in the lot. But I could not take my eyes off. She looked at me at twice wondering ‘why the hell he is staring at me?’, I dint care. I just wanted to see her. I crossed the average staring time at girls, which is usually 5- 10 seconds, also it went on way beyond minutes. Within minutes (for me it was seconds and for her hours) bus came and she rushed inside the bus and dint had courtesy to look back. Bus moved at fast pace. I was feeling like I lost something in bus and need to catch it. At last I turned to both of my friends and told ‘Maga, I think I saw someone special’.
Next day our hunt started for that girl. I needed to get much information on her before getting acquainted with her. We reached college at 9.30 and started waiting near women’s entrance gate (we had separate exits for boys and girls as boys used to unnecessarily rush through exit whenever girls used to pass from it). We scanned each and every female face passing through the gate. We dint even spared the female lecturers. Time was running out. It was 9:55, classes would start at 10:00. Shasthri told that she might have taken leave, Seena told she is not from this college may be from Basaveshwara College, Shasthri told she might no been studying at all, Seena told she might be from other college came to meet her friends, Shasthri told she might have came to drop or pick her sister. Finally to lock up their mouths I saw she rushing towards gate as time was up. I told ‘Maga, there she is’. At last we got a confirmation that she is from the same college. We rushed towards boy’s entrance gate as there was only 2 mins left for the class. Once we entered the building I saw her running towards stairs of ‘B’ block. Even our class was at ‘B’ block. We ran behind her. She was terrified seeing 3 goons chasing her. When we reached first floor she took right turn our class was at left. They both took left turn I took right and followed her. She entered her class. I stopped and noted that it was first P.U.C science class. I was not in mood to attend the class. I was kind of happy.
After class Shasthri and Seena came looking after me and asked ‘where the hell were you?’ I replied absent mindedly ‘Maga, I think I got my dove’.
‘Dove’ is a bird similar to pigeon, but here in Karnataka that word has lot of meanings. Dove is a person who is your lover or a person with whom you are just flirting or a person whom you think you will/can love or dove also means pretending/telling lie.
The right meaning can be asserted by the situation and context of the usage. What I actually meant was ‘A person whom I think will/can love’.
To proceed further I made to-do list:
1. What’s her name?
2. Where she stays?
3. Get to know whether she actually likes you
4. Make an female accomplice in your class
5. Make up a plan to speak to her
6. Get to know all the things she likes
7. Assert that she is single
8. Confirm she has interest in you
9. Once all is done ‘go for the kill’, propose to her.
10. If she agrees to your proposal don’t dance have some dignity in front of her
11. If she rejects don’t cry in front of her.
12. Mean while keep a eye on her surroundings as someone else would have got same feelings for her and you might have to warn them
Those were my 12 commandments which I need to adhere strictly so that I wont fail.
Step 1: What’s her name?
It was the easiest task. I thought of talking to her directly, but to have some curiosity I asked one of my friend Suma to help me out on this. I showed that girl to her and explained that she has to approach her friendly and ask her name. She did it and I came to know her name. Her name is ‘Ashwini’. At that time I felt that was the most beautiful sounding name I have ever heard.
Step 2: Where she stays?
This was also easy task. Me, Shasthri and Seena got in the same bus in which she was returning to home. She was seated in front and we at rear. Every minute she was looking back. As her stop was nearing she was getting worried. She got down at Malleshwaram 15th Cross. We also got down and followed her. She was running as if we are following her to kidnap. She took a turn in a gully we entered that gully exactly after 10 seconds. She was suddenly vanished. We searched for her. But we couldn’t find her. At last we concluded that she stays in the same gully.
Step 3: Get to know whether she actually likes you
This was bit difficult task. But I used my knowledge about Indian movies to assert the expressions and reactions of a girl whether she is actually interested in you. I used to just jump in front of her and surprise her and try to find out what her reaction would be. Whenever I did that she used to smile shyly. That was the first signal. Next I used to send only Shasthri and Seena to bus stop and ask them to observe her if she is looking for me. The response was ‘Yes’ from my friends. Once I was wearing black T-shirt and she was also wearing black dress when I passed in front of her one of her friend whispered something in Ashwini’s ears and she laughed. I assumed that it is for the common color dress.
Step 4: Make a female accomplice in your class.
I needed someone to introduce to Ashwini. I dint had enough courage to go and introduce myself to her. I thought it would be too rude of me. So again I approached Suma, I told her my plan, she has to speak to Ashwini and get acquainted and introduce me to her later. I will take things forward from there. But she dint listened to me, she refused. Till date I don’t know the reason why she dint agreed. May be she thought it’s a lousy idea but she could have informed me and I could have thought something better. So this step was skipped and entered directly to step 5.
Step 5: Make up a plan to speak to her
This was the hardest lesson I learnt in my life- It’s bloody too hard to speak to a girl. After step 4 was dropped I made up my mind that I will speak to her directly. That day I prepared myself and recited each and every sentence at least 10 times before going to her. We reached bus stop by 4 pm and waited for her. She came at 4.35 pm. My friends goaded me to go and speak to her. I was too nervous, but I steeled myself and went to her. She saw me, and raised her eyebrows asking ‘what’s the matter?’ I tried to open my mouth but it was not opening, I felt as if fevi quick or m-seal has been put in to my mouth. My voice was totally lost. I doubted whether I was a mute or what? I started shivering; the shivering originated from my bones and shattered my whole being. I don’t know how long I was standing dumb struck in front of her and all the people in bus stand were looking in wonder at me and my friends encouraging me to speak, but I dint hear their voices or the traffic sounds I was hearing my heart beat which was on fast pace and blood rushing towards my ears. At last she spoke and said ‘My bus came, I’m leaving’.
That was the last time I ever tried to speak to her. All the other steps of to-do list were dropped. My friends made fun of me. I don’t know the reason why I was not able to speak to her. May be I dint had guts.
Later in the same week Shasthri blasted me and taught me the tactics of approaching a girl. He gave me lecture for half an hour everyday. One day he told that he will help me out by talking to Ashwini first and will introduce me to her later. I was so happy that I hugged and kissed him on his cheeks. So the location was same ‘bus stop’ and time also same ‘evening around 4.30 pm’. The scene was revealed as below:
Open
Bus stop – enter Ashwini.
Shasthri approaches Ashwini.
After approaching her he will look toward us and smiles and his smile says to me ‘Main hoon naa!’
He will look toward her, she will look toward him
He smiles, she smiles
He smiles, she smiles
He smiles, she will not smile and ask ‘What?’
He is still smiling, she is looking at him seriously.
He is still smiling, she lost interest
He is still smiling, she will ask ‘What?’
He is still smiling and asks ‘Is Sandhya your class mate?’
I ask Seena ‘who the hell is Sandhya?’, Seena to me “don’t know maga, my be Shasthri’s new girl friend’, Me -‘Why is he asking about her?’, Seena –‘Don’t know’
He is still bloody smiling, Enter bus – she leaves.
He is still bloody hell smiling, approaches us
I ask ‘Maga, who is Sandhya?’, He replies ‘Who the hell knows? That name flashed to me’
I look at Seena, he is trying to control laugh, I laugh, He laughs.
All laughs.
The End
After that I stopped thinking and trying such goofy things. But by that time she was branded as ‘Mahesh’s dove’ in college. The branding of any girl was very important in college as many boys will be behind one girl. Before making any kind of progress they will enquire has anyone seriously claimed their target. They will decide on progressing based on the credentials of the claimer, if he is weak then they would try to progress. Her branding was strong as no one proposed to her till the time I was in college. Which I think she dint liked, may be she thought she was branded to a coward.
It was bit difficult and painful for me to come out the situation that I created for myself because I was somewhere in between the generation which believed in 'One Love', 'Eternal Love', 'First Love is last Love' and the 'Move on' generation. I convinced myself that 'May be she is not for you, that's why you couldn't speak to her'. I let her to live her life in her own way and I started leaving my own. Also I followed the famous quote of great Shakespeare 'Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better'. After college I have not seen her even for once. But whenever I pass through the Malleshwaram 15th Cross I do look toward that gully where once she vanished.
Mean while, Shasthri proposed to a girl whom we named as ‘Topi’ (cap, due to her hair cut). She told him that she will inform her reply next day. He came to us very happily and told her response. Me and Seena laughed our heart out. He was confused. We told ‘Maga from tomorrow for next 10 days college is closed for exams how the hell she will tell tomorrow, she just fooled you’.
Love was in air for many people during the final year. Many of my class mates proposed to girls. Few of them accepted, few of them were rejected.
For the college fest many of my friends were in organizers position as we were final year students. So this time getting a time slot for our play and other things was a cake walk. Even this time I prepared a script, which was also funny. But this time it dint happened as per plan as few of the members decided to quit 2 days before fest. They were not happy as many things were done by us. We were left with only 6 people. Everyone thought may be this year we will not be able to perform. I thought something else. I gave one of my friend list of songs and asked him to get them recorded continuously with the specified portion. He did that and we were ready with skit with only songs and the play was called ‘Aslam Bhai’.
It was story about Aslam Bhai (a bhai, played by Seena) who will fall in love with a girl (once again the beautiful and gracious shasthri). We, the Chamchas (me, Jaggu and Ravindra) take advantage of love blinded Aslam Bhai and get all his money. The girl finally runs away with Hero (Long Mahesh) leaving Aslam Bhai shattered. We danced to many song bits. We got it ready, practiced and performed in 46 hours. I just wanted to prove to the people who left the team that we can do it without them. After our performance they came and congratulated us. That was our reward.
Also this year all the boys together watched ‘Dil Chahata hai’ movie which is simply superb. That was the most fantastic movie we watched. We were able to relate to the characters. Shasthri was ever goofy Saif, Seena contempt Akshaye and Me impulsive aamir. We all had good time especially during the Goa episode of Saif. I’m proud to say that I’m from ‘Dil Chahatha Hai’ generation.
Exam was fast approaching. We prepared to the best possible extent and wrote. The day I received call that result are announced I was too nervous. I entered college and Narendra met me and told ‘Congrats Maga, you got first class’. I dint believe what he just told and asked him again, he told yes. I rushed to the result board and was happy to see my register number in first class section and I was the only boy who got first class. I thought that’s a great achievement for a person who got only 3 marks in Chemistry in first year. Seena scored second class, in aggregate he was higher than me as he was consistent in all 3 years. Shasthri the ‘Nidhanave Pradhana’ completed all the subjects bit late. But he is still happy about it and that’s what I like about him.
Thus the most beautiful and adventurous journey came to an end. Today when I look back I feel happy about everything and regret about nothing. All of my friends are in good position today.
The most notorious of all, ‘the trio’ is also in good position. Shasthri is Regional Manager in a company, Seena is also at Managerial position in a Pharmaceutical company and me still a struggling writer.
Ramakrishna and Puttaswamy are working as lecturers, Sharath is working in a Bio-tech company, Karthik is team leader in a BPO, Jaggu is working as HR, Long Mahesh has become business man and Ravindra is acting in serials and shortly to be seen in movies.
The inspiration for me to write this is Chetan Bhagat’s ‘Five Point someone’ novel. I was remembering all our adventures while reading that book. But I felt that in the novel there are many fictional incidences but our college life was so real and more interesting. However, I would like to mention that I have filtered out many things as they are too sensitive and vulgar and I can’t post such things in public forum. Whatever I have written is may be 30% of our college life. But I hope it was interesting to all.
Me, Shasthri and Seena have decided to watch ‘3 Idiots’ on 1st Jan, 2010. No one could enjoy the movie better than these ‘3 Idiots’. We will watch and laugh or cry and also its chance to laugh at ourselves one more time and for many more times to come.
THE END
By now we did know about each other. We knew each person’s character, reactions, strengths, weakness and moods. We know who is true friend? Who is just a friend? Who needs to be avoided? Who needs our attention? We did not have any enemies. We did have few issues with everyone but no enemies. We were excited for being the seniors in the college as our college. Also we were happy that the college fest will be organized by us.
As I discussed earlier having a girl friend was considered to be a matter of pride during college days (we did not know the disadvantages of having one). We used to think that a girl can be impressed only by having a flashy bike or car or hefty bank balance of your parents. Me, neither Shashthri no Seena had any of them. Also we were too busy in having fun that we did not give much thought about that. Only Shashthri had few crushes but I and Seena just adored the beauties from distance.
It’s too hard to write the moment when you like someone at first sight. It’s too complicated. It’s unexplainable. It did happen to me. I can’t forget that day. We three of us were sitting at our usual spot at Navrang bus stop. It’s been only a week since the first year P.U.C classes were started. We were analyzing the people in bus stop at once my eyes singled out a person among the crowd. She was not very good looking nor was best in the lot. But I could not take my eyes off. She looked at me at twice wondering ‘why the hell he is staring at me?’, I dint care. I just wanted to see her. I crossed the average staring time at girls, which is usually 5- 10 seconds, also it went on way beyond minutes. Within minutes (for me it was seconds and for her hours) bus came and she rushed inside the bus and dint had courtesy to look back. Bus moved at fast pace. I was feeling like I lost something in bus and need to catch it. At last I turned to both of my friends and told ‘Maga, I think I saw someone special’.
Next day our hunt started for that girl. I needed to get much information on her before getting acquainted with her. We reached college at 9.30 and started waiting near women’s entrance gate (we had separate exits for boys and girls as boys used to unnecessarily rush through exit whenever girls used to pass from it). We scanned each and every female face passing through the gate. We dint even spared the female lecturers. Time was running out. It was 9:55, classes would start at 10:00. Shasthri told that she might have taken leave, Seena told she is not from this college may be from Basaveshwara College, Shasthri told she might no been studying at all, Seena told she might be from other college came to meet her friends, Shasthri told she might have came to drop or pick her sister. Finally to lock up their mouths I saw she rushing towards gate as time was up. I told ‘Maga, there she is’. At last we got a confirmation that she is from the same college. We rushed towards boy’s entrance gate as there was only 2 mins left for the class. Once we entered the building I saw her running towards stairs of ‘B’ block. Even our class was at ‘B’ block. We ran behind her. She was terrified seeing 3 goons chasing her. When we reached first floor she took right turn our class was at left. They both took left turn I took right and followed her. She entered her class. I stopped and noted that it was first P.U.C science class. I was not in mood to attend the class. I was kind of happy.
After class Shasthri and Seena came looking after me and asked ‘where the hell were you?’ I replied absent mindedly ‘Maga, I think I got my dove’.
‘Dove’ is a bird similar to pigeon, but here in Karnataka that word has lot of meanings. Dove is a person who is your lover or a person with whom you are just flirting or a person whom you think you will/can love or dove also means pretending/telling lie.
The right meaning can be asserted by the situation and context of the usage. What I actually meant was ‘A person whom I think will/can love’.
To proceed further I made to-do list:
1. What’s her name?
2. Where she stays?
3. Get to know whether she actually likes you
4. Make an female accomplice in your class
5. Make up a plan to speak to her
6. Get to know all the things she likes
7. Assert that she is single
8. Confirm she has interest in you
9. Once all is done ‘go for the kill’, propose to her.
10. If she agrees to your proposal don’t dance have some dignity in front of her
11. If she rejects don’t cry in front of her.
12. Mean while keep a eye on her surroundings as someone else would have got same feelings for her and you might have to warn them
Those were my 12 commandments which I need to adhere strictly so that I wont fail.
Step 1: What’s her name?
It was the easiest task. I thought of talking to her directly, but to have some curiosity I asked one of my friend Suma to help me out on this. I showed that girl to her and explained that she has to approach her friendly and ask her name. She did it and I came to know her name. Her name is ‘Ashwini’. At that time I felt that was the most beautiful sounding name I have ever heard.
Step 2: Where she stays?
This was also easy task. Me, Shasthri and Seena got in the same bus in which she was returning to home. She was seated in front and we at rear. Every minute she was looking back. As her stop was nearing she was getting worried. She got down at Malleshwaram 15th Cross. We also got down and followed her. She was running as if we are following her to kidnap. She took a turn in a gully we entered that gully exactly after 10 seconds. She was suddenly vanished. We searched for her. But we couldn’t find her. At last we concluded that she stays in the same gully.
Step 3: Get to know whether she actually likes you
This was bit difficult task. But I used my knowledge about Indian movies to assert the expressions and reactions of a girl whether she is actually interested in you. I used to just jump in front of her and surprise her and try to find out what her reaction would be. Whenever I did that she used to smile shyly. That was the first signal. Next I used to send only Shasthri and Seena to bus stop and ask them to observe her if she is looking for me. The response was ‘Yes’ from my friends. Once I was wearing black T-shirt and she was also wearing black dress when I passed in front of her one of her friend whispered something in Ashwini’s ears and she laughed. I assumed that it is for the common color dress.
Step 4: Make a female accomplice in your class.
I needed someone to introduce to Ashwini. I dint had enough courage to go and introduce myself to her. I thought it would be too rude of me. So again I approached Suma, I told her my plan, she has to speak to Ashwini and get acquainted and introduce me to her later. I will take things forward from there. But she dint listened to me, she refused. Till date I don’t know the reason why she dint agreed. May be she thought it’s a lousy idea but she could have informed me and I could have thought something better. So this step was skipped and entered directly to step 5.
Step 5: Make up a plan to speak to her
This was the hardest lesson I learnt in my life- It’s bloody too hard to speak to a girl. After step 4 was dropped I made up my mind that I will speak to her directly. That day I prepared myself and recited each and every sentence at least 10 times before going to her. We reached bus stop by 4 pm and waited for her. She came at 4.35 pm. My friends goaded me to go and speak to her. I was too nervous, but I steeled myself and went to her. She saw me, and raised her eyebrows asking ‘what’s the matter?’ I tried to open my mouth but it was not opening, I felt as if fevi quick or m-seal has been put in to my mouth. My voice was totally lost. I doubted whether I was a mute or what? I started shivering; the shivering originated from my bones and shattered my whole being. I don’t know how long I was standing dumb struck in front of her and all the people in bus stand were looking in wonder at me and my friends encouraging me to speak, but I dint hear their voices or the traffic sounds I was hearing my heart beat which was on fast pace and blood rushing towards my ears. At last she spoke and said ‘My bus came, I’m leaving’.
That was the last time I ever tried to speak to her. All the other steps of to-do list were dropped. My friends made fun of me. I don’t know the reason why I was not able to speak to her. May be I dint had guts.
Later in the same week Shasthri blasted me and taught me the tactics of approaching a girl. He gave me lecture for half an hour everyday. One day he told that he will help me out by talking to Ashwini first and will introduce me to her later. I was so happy that I hugged and kissed him on his cheeks. So the location was same ‘bus stop’ and time also same ‘evening around 4.30 pm’. The scene was revealed as below:
Open
Bus stop – enter Ashwini.
Shasthri approaches Ashwini.
After approaching her he will look toward us and smiles and his smile says to me ‘Main hoon naa!’
He will look toward her, she will look toward him
He smiles, she smiles
He smiles, she smiles
He smiles, she will not smile and ask ‘What?’
He is still smiling, she is looking at him seriously.
He is still smiling, she lost interest
He is still smiling, she will ask ‘What?’
He is still smiling and asks ‘Is Sandhya your class mate?’
I ask Seena ‘who the hell is Sandhya?’, Seena to me “don’t know maga, my be Shasthri’s new girl friend’, Me -‘Why is he asking about her?’, Seena –‘Don’t know’
He is still bloody smiling, Enter bus – she leaves.
He is still bloody hell smiling, approaches us
I ask ‘Maga, who is Sandhya?’, He replies ‘Who the hell knows? That name flashed to me’
I look at Seena, he is trying to control laugh, I laugh, He laughs.
All laughs.
The End
After that I stopped thinking and trying such goofy things. But by that time she was branded as ‘Mahesh’s dove’ in college. The branding of any girl was very important in college as many boys will be behind one girl. Before making any kind of progress they will enquire has anyone seriously claimed their target. They will decide on progressing based on the credentials of the claimer, if he is weak then they would try to progress. Her branding was strong as no one proposed to her till the time I was in college. Which I think she dint liked, may be she thought she was branded to a coward.
It was bit difficult and painful for me to come out the situation that I created for myself because I was somewhere in between the generation which believed in 'One Love', 'Eternal Love', 'First Love is last Love' and the 'Move on' generation. I convinced myself that 'May be she is not for you, that's why you couldn't speak to her'. I let her to live her life in her own way and I started leaving my own. Also I followed the famous quote of great Shakespeare 'Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better'. After college I have not seen her even for once. But whenever I pass through the Malleshwaram 15th Cross I do look toward that gully where once she vanished.
Mean while, Shasthri proposed to a girl whom we named as ‘Topi’ (cap, due to her hair cut). She told him that she will inform her reply next day. He came to us very happily and told her response. Me and Seena laughed our heart out. He was confused. We told ‘Maga from tomorrow for next 10 days college is closed for exams how the hell she will tell tomorrow, she just fooled you’.
Love was in air for many people during the final year. Many of my class mates proposed to girls. Few of them accepted, few of them were rejected.
For the college fest many of my friends were in organizers position as we were final year students. So this time getting a time slot for our play and other things was a cake walk. Even this time I prepared a script, which was also funny. But this time it dint happened as per plan as few of the members decided to quit 2 days before fest. They were not happy as many things were done by us. We were left with only 6 people. Everyone thought may be this year we will not be able to perform. I thought something else. I gave one of my friend list of songs and asked him to get them recorded continuously with the specified portion. He did that and we were ready with skit with only songs and the play was called ‘Aslam Bhai’.
It was story about Aslam Bhai (a bhai, played by Seena) who will fall in love with a girl (once again the beautiful and gracious shasthri). We, the Chamchas (me, Jaggu and Ravindra) take advantage of love blinded Aslam Bhai and get all his money. The girl finally runs away with Hero (Long Mahesh) leaving Aslam Bhai shattered. We danced to many song bits. We got it ready, practiced and performed in 46 hours. I just wanted to prove to the people who left the team that we can do it without them. After our performance they came and congratulated us. That was our reward.
Also this year all the boys together watched ‘Dil Chahata hai’ movie which is simply superb. That was the most fantastic movie we watched. We were able to relate to the characters. Shasthri was ever goofy Saif, Seena contempt Akshaye and Me impulsive aamir. We all had good time especially during the Goa episode of Saif. I’m proud to say that I’m from ‘Dil Chahatha Hai’ generation.
Exam was fast approaching. We prepared to the best possible extent and wrote. The day I received call that result are announced I was too nervous. I entered college and Narendra met me and told ‘Congrats Maga, you got first class’. I dint believe what he just told and asked him again, he told yes. I rushed to the result board and was happy to see my register number in first class section and I was the only boy who got first class. I thought that’s a great achievement for a person who got only 3 marks in Chemistry in first year. Seena scored second class, in aggregate he was higher than me as he was consistent in all 3 years. Shasthri the ‘Nidhanave Pradhana’ completed all the subjects bit late. But he is still happy about it and that’s what I like about him.
Thus the most beautiful and adventurous journey came to an end. Today when I look back I feel happy about everything and regret about nothing. All of my friends are in good position today.
The most notorious of all, ‘the trio’ is also in good position. Shasthri is Regional Manager in a company, Seena is also at Managerial position in a Pharmaceutical company and me still a struggling writer.
Ramakrishna and Puttaswamy are working as lecturers, Sharath is working in a Bio-tech company, Karthik is team leader in a BPO, Jaggu is working as HR, Long Mahesh has become business man and Ravindra is acting in serials and shortly to be seen in movies.
The inspiration for me to write this is Chetan Bhagat’s ‘Five Point someone’ novel. I was remembering all our adventures while reading that book. But I felt that in the novel there are many fictional incidences but our college life was so real and more interesting. However, I would like to mention that I have filtered out many things as they are too sensitive and vulgar and I can’t post such things in public forum. Whatever I have written is may be 30% of our college life. But I hope it was interesting to all.
Me, Shasthri and Seena have decided to watch ‘3 Idiots’ on 1st Jan, 2010. No one could enjoy the movie better than these ‘3 Idiots’. We will watch and laugh or cry and also its chance to laugh at ourselves one more time and for many more times to come.
THE END
Sunday, November 29, 2009
When we were Kings- Part 2
The day of our first year BSc results was memorable for many reasons. First of all I flunked in Chemistry (expected) and Botany (non-expected). Secondly I flunked for first time in my life. Third reason was that I laughed a lot on that day despite of flunking. I and Shasthri watched together our disgraceful registration number not featuring on result sheet as we dint make it. We decided that we will mourn our failure by watching a movie. Seena was absconding that day. We went to a Tamil movie, Penin manadhai thottu (Touch a women’s heart) acted by Sharath Kumar, Prabhu Deva (Dance wonder of India) and the heroine I don’t know her name. It was basically a love story with all masalas. But the movie had an excellent comedy track by Vivek (I admire this guy). The comedy track was so good that both of us were laughing our heart out. After the movie when we came out of theater we discussed that usually people will not laugh when they fail in their exams but we are unique as we laughed in such a misery.
That was my golden days. Never bothered or cared a tiny rat’s ass about what’s happening.
The days where you would have not bothered if you missed your lunch bag because you know a part of your friend's lunch is reserved for you.
The days when you would not care to know what’s happening in world. Whether the economy is booming or it’s in gutters.
The days when you dint care much about looking into news papers.
The days when a cigarette is shared by 10 people and the moment it would reach you it would be the last puff as people would deliberately inhale more than required.
The days when a party involving alcohol is organized you would take more than your limit as you would not know when the next party will be.
The days when you switched your shirt with your friend’s because your shirt is good than his and he has to meet his girl friend.
The days when you would enjoy reading stories, jokes and comments written by the most brilliant and creative people in rest rooms.
The days when you would stand by your friend when he is been targeted by his girl friend’s other admirers or brothers or father and you would not bother if you got hit by someone.
The days when playing cricket was more than passion and we skipped everything but did not missed a single match. If we saw a match going out of our hand we used to create a big issue out of nothing and made sure that match is abandoned. This many times leaded to fights.
The days when we considered first day first show of favorite movies were more important than attending practical classes.
The day when having a girl friend was a matter of pride. When you saw someone else is trying to impress your would-be girl friend your every friendly pat, hug and pinch will be more severe than usual on the competitor.
The most advantageous part of studying under Bangalore University was the option of having carry over, where if you fail in one or all subjects in first or second year you can still attend classes and try to clear these back logs. So we all entered our second year of BSc. Seena with no burden of back log, me with burden of 2 subjects and Shasthri with more burden than me.
Second year I would call it as most adventurous year. We did things which we not even imagined.
First incidence to share is that we had a professor who was known to be too strict and he dint bother to slap any student if he does any mistake. He had unique facial features. His face was black and his eyes circle was pitch black and only thing visible in that region was the white matter of his eyes. He was bald and his hairs (countable) arise from the lower extremity of sides and back of skull. Hairs were at least 10 cms long.
He used to handle the practical classes which were usually scheduled in afternoon. One day, he came to lab and arranged slides and asked us to look at them. May be he had a bad hair day. All of his hairs were in erected position.While checking slides Sharath told me ‘Maga (slang for friend), don’t you think Professor looks like a person who gets electrocuted in television Ads and his face will be blackened and hairs will be erected position’. His comparison was so accurate that I saw the Professor’s face and could not control my laugh. Professor noted me laughing and came to me and gave a hard punch on my back. As I saw him more closely and his features in anger were like charred after electrocuted, I started laughing more. He dismissed me from class. Shortly after my dismissal Sharath followed as he also could not control his laugh. After the class we were declared as heroes as we were dare to laugh on Professor's face.
Then came the supplementary exams in September, 2000, a chance to clear the back logs. This time I decided that I will clear both Chemistry and Botany which were pending from first year. I studied well, but for only 48 hours before exams. This time for chemistry I spent 3 hours in examination hall. Felt good about that. Also the advantage of writing supplementary exams is that the question papers will be easier than main exams as the question paper setters would know that whoever is going to attend will never pass the exams if they are tough. Surprisingly I cleared both the subjects but Shashthri did not. I would like to appreciate this person’s patience and logic for not clearing all the subjects. He would tell that his grand father has advised him that ‘Nidhanave Pradhana’ it’s similar to slow and steady wins the race and told us that he will clear subjects slowly.
I would like to mention about one of our lady Professor. She was short, stocky and had Indira Gandhi hairstyle and she was sworn enemy of men and boys. No body knew the reason, may be some white and black flash back. She used to observe closely the movements of boys and blast them even for silly reason.
I never saw her smiling. I used to think she directly born with an accusing face. Only time I saw her smiling was when Seena shaved his moustache. That day she told to him that he looks like Anant Nag (good actor in Kannada movies) in Bayalu Dhaari movie. Also I could see a hint of blush in her. That whole day we took life of Seena by saying that he has impressed the impossible. Once we all boys mass bunked one of her class. This infuriated her. The same day we attended Chemistry Lab class. The lab was too big and it had 2 exits. Lady Professor entered from front exit and started blasting who were there. We saw the attack and dodged by going out from rear exit. She noticed this but we did not. We concealed ourselves behind a wall. We saw her going back to department. Then we entered lab. I was standing near window and luckily saw that she was coming back with vengeance. I passed the information to Shasthri and Seena but Shasthri was busy talking with some girl. Me and Seena sneaked out. We saw that smart lady locking the front exit before entering from rear exit. Shasthri who was bit late to understand the situation was caught near the door and got maximum blasting.
In another incidence in Botany Lab Karthik did some mischievous thing that angered the Lady professor she grabbed a wooden scale on her table and rushed to hit him as if that would cause pain to him. He the athlete and agile jumped across the table and ran in circles around the table and she chasing him. It was like playing ‘Fire in the mountain, run, run, run…’ We all laughed like crazy people. At last she gave up and slumped in her chair and told ‘Karthik, I know u will be nothing in your life but you can be a good runner’. She was not able to get up from her chair till the class got over but she dint released the scale from her hand thinking that if Karthik comes in striking range she will hit him. He made sure that entire class he was out of striking range.
We all boys organized a trip. Girls were not interested in joining us because they thought we are most spoiled creatures of this world and being with us will contaminate them. We thought we are better off them because with girls around men will act like monkey many times. I decided the places we will visit. We planned to go to Mysore, Madikeri (Coorg), Mangalore, Hassan and back to Bangalore. People who agreed were Me, Shasthri, Seena, Sharath, Karthik, Ravindra, Narendra, Puttaswamy, Ramakrishna, Jaga, Long Mahesh and Girish (our junior). Date was fixed; it was for 3 days and in month of December 2000. Long Mahesh took responsibility of booking vehicle for the trip.
On the day of trip we all reached college at 6 am. But the vehicle came at 1 pm due to some issues. We all cursed Long Mahesh for that. We all reached Halebeedu by 4 pm. We were admiring the sculptures but Girish and someone else tried to write something on sculpture and were caught. Police were called and we all apologized. They told to write a apology letter. We wrote letter in some other college’s name and our name on letter was changed. Someone was Upendra, someone was Rajkumar, some one was Kumarswamy the best was someone was Deve Gowda. We reached Kadur at 7 pm we hit the bar straight. We 3 sat together with Narendra, Rama and Puttaswamy at one table and we ordered Beer. Shasthri acted as perfect Brahmin and settled with Pepsi (now he gulps down a 90 in a second). I and Seena had 5 beers together. During billing somehow we convinced Rama that we had only 4, which he still doubts today. After filling our belly we moved towards Kalasa for spending night. On the way few of the loose stomachs could not with hold the alcohol. It was started by Puttaswamy. He asked driver to stop and went out to puke. Ravindra who saw the puking process of Puttaswamy could not hold and involuntarily puked. This started the chain reaction and almost all puked except me and Sharath.
We reached Kalasa at around 11 pm. We were supposed to spend night in vehicle as we dint had enough money to stay in hotel. As it was winter it was too cold. Me and Sharath decided not to sleep and were roaming all around the town. We parked the vehicle near the police station. Initially we were silent as we were near police station and we were drunk also the door light outside the police station was on. As the night passed everyone’s bladder was too active due to alcohol but there was no any place where it could be released. We searched, but no place near by. We saw that police station’s backyard was empty and no lights but we were still skeptical as any police might see us catch us in action and can take action against us. But no one can control that. I made my mind and did a courageous thing. I moved into backyard cautiously and made sure no one is moving inside the police station and at last released. Everyone followed my example all through the night. We made sure that we left that place by 4 am and reached Horanaadu so that no one from police station is awake. We thought they will be having a surprise in morning. I wondered if they can so poorly defend their backyard how well they can defend people.
That day we reached Mangalore. I always liked seas and oceans. I get spell bind when I see these magnanimous thing. It contains trillion to the power of trillion barrels of water, million species ranging from single celled protozoan to biggest creature blue whale in its belly but on surface it appears so calm and humble. I love to see the beach and admire its humongousness. Me, Shasthri and Seena took a picture against the back drop of setting sun symbolizing that we will be friends till our life’s sun sets (This photo is with Shasthri will post it soon). And our trip came to an end with loads of memories.
At last the most unforgettable memory which was also a turning point in my life. Our Botany professor Siddesh Gowda had expressed concern that CBZ students has not participated in any cultural events performed during college's yearly fest. We just discussed internally that we will do something this year. Ravindra the upcoming movie star said that we will do dance. That day after reaching home I thought we can do a play. I took out paper and pen and started writing. I dint had any inspiration or idea just kept writing by midnight I was ready with a script for a skit. Next day I showed it to everyone. Everyone liked it. I was not sure whether it was good but everyone told it was good. I titled it as ‘Director from Hollywood’; basically it’s a story of director who wants to direct a movie in Kannada. He hires personal Assistant (PA) who will misuse the money given by the director to choose actors. When director comes down to finalize on cast PA will get people who are not so good and unique characters that who will make the director go crazy.
The characters of our skit we were as follows:
1. Director from Hollywood – Narendra
2. PA – Me (initially it was Rama who rejected the offer)
3. Uppi – (Seena) A mad person who is fan of Upendra movies and acts like him.
4. Hero – Long Mahesh (Salman Khan) He wears very less dress to show his body.
5. Heroine – Shasthri (Mandakini, a transvestite) my favorite dialogue of him was ‘I studied in Bishop Cotton’s Boys School and in Mount Carmel women’s college’. Initially he did not agreed to do this character as he thought that it would dampen his image in front of ladies. But I convinced him. I’m really thankful to him that he agreed. Also he was ready to get a clean shave for the performance. Also I’m thankful to Neela and Suma who done make-up to him before the performance.
6. Villain – Ravindra (Shake Abdullah) His specialty was that he will shake involuntarily and whoever touches him will also shake.
7. Dialogue writer – (Rama) He will have poor eye sight
I was surprised when everyone liked the story and script. Also they encouraged me to direct the skit. So I did. We had a great time rehearsing it. We did it for almost 2 months. Also we came to know whoever participates in cultural program will get 75% attendance, this made us to concentrate more on that. The college fest was organized in month of Feb 2001.
We had one more hurdle to cross before performing on stage. We were supposed to perform in front of so called ‘panel of experts’ who would choose the program that will be performed on the D-day. We were nervous thinking that if our program is not chosen what will happen to our attendance. Some how, we did and were able to get a slot in evening. On the D-day we were all prepared. But there was an issue. So many programs were chosen that they started deleting programs and ending the boring programs in the middle of performance. I was so worried that all our efforts would go in vain. I was seeing people practiced ready with costumes were being told that their act or dance cannot be staged due to time constraints. I’m in great debt to Long Mahesh who used his influence in seniors and got a slot for us.
Finally we were on stage. For the first time in my life I was on stage. Gastric juice in my stomach poured down when I saw nearly 1000 people seated and waiting for me to speak. We did, we performed. Everyone was so excited on stage that they did things for real. I’m sorry for Narendra who got real slaps and punches. There was one funny incidence which I would like to share. In a scene, Hero will punch Director and chases Villain, Villain escapes by moving in between Hero’s legs and I will be holding wrathful director to console him. On stage Hero punched Narendra so hard that he fell down and I dint know when villain started running I thought I need to hold someone so I got hold of Hero. Hero started telling me ‘Maga, leave my hand’. I asked ‘Why?’, he replied ‘Ravindra is squeezing in between my legs I can’t move’. Then I realized I was supposed to hold director and I searched for him poor fellow was moaning in pain holding his stomach on the floor of stage. But the saddest part was our play was stopped at 10 mins, actual time was 15 mins. We all felt bad but had a satisfaction that we performed on stage. Back stage we were so excited we all started showing our excitement on Shasthri and his dress.
We were informed that the programs performed will be aired in some local channel. All were looking forward to see themselves on television. I was worried thinking that they will edit our program we were not allowed to perform completely on stage. Also that local channel was not aired where I resided. We all decided that we will watch it in Long Mahesh’s home. But on the day I got some urgent personal work and could not go. I regret till date that I dint watched it. Everyone else watched it. Good news was that our program was not edited. All other flashy programs before ours were deleted. We thought even the channel people liked our program. After that relay many people in college started recognizing us. Especially Seena for his Uppi performance, Shasthri for his role and everyone else. Professor Siddesh Gowda was happy. Even other lecturers appreciated us. We all felt good.
The support provided by my friends made me to realize that I have something in me as a writer and director. Even they did encouraged me to take up that as career and I was ready for it. But life had some other plans for me. But I'm thankful to them if they would have not supported me that day I would not have written this.
Exams time again. This time relatively I did well and was able to get second class. Which surprised all thinking that when did I get time to study in between all this chaos. Even Seena cleared all subject. Shasthri was still slow and steady and kept few subjects pending. With this we ended our second year and were ready to face the final year, which was also filled with non-stop fun and excitement.
In the final year I saw someone special.
To be continued…….
That was my golden days. Never bothered or cared a tiny rat’s ass about what’s happening.
The days where you would have not bothered if you missed your lunch bag because you know a part of your friend's lunch is reserved for you.
The days when you would not care to know what’s happening in world. Whether the economy is booming or it’s in gutters.
The days when you dint care much about looking into news papers.
The days when a cigarette is shared by 10 people and the moment it would reach you it would be the last puff as people would deliberately inhale more than required.
The days when a party involving alcohol is organized you would take more than your limit as you would not know when the next party will be.
The days when you switched your shirt with your friend’s because your shirt is good than his and he has to meet his girl friend.
The days when you would enjoy reading stories, jokes and comments written by the most brilliant and creative people in rest rooms.
The days when you would stand by your friend when he is been targeted by his girl friend’s other admirers or brothers or father and you would not bother if you got hit by someone.
The days when playing cricket was more than passion and we skipped everything but did not missed a single match. If we saw a match going out of our hand we used to create a big issue out of nothing and made sure that match is abandoned. This many times leaded to fights.
The days when we considered first day first show of favorite movies were more important than attending practical classes.
The day when having a girl friend was a matter of pride. When you saw someone else is trying to impress your would-be girl friend your every friendly pat, hug and pinch will be more severe than usual on the competitor.
The most advantageous part of studying under Bangalore University was the option of having carry over, where if you fail in one or all subjects in first or second year you can still attend classes and try to clear these back logs. So we all entered our second year of BSc. Seena with no burden of back log, me with burden of 2 subjects and Shasthri with more burden than me.
Second year I would call it as most adventurous year. We did things which we not even imagined.
First incidence to share is that we had a professor who was known to be too strict and he dint bother to slap any student if he does any mistake. He had unique facial features. His face was black and his eyes circle was pitch black and only thing visible in that region was the white matter of his eyes. He was bald and his hairs (countable) arise from the lower extremity of sides and back of skull. Hairs were at least 10 cms long.
He used to handle the practical classes which were usually scheduled in afternoon. One day, he came to lab and arranged slides and asked us to look at them. May be he had a bad hair day. All of his hairs were in erected position.While checking slides Sharath told me ‘Maga (slang for friend), don’t you think Professor looks like a person who gets electrocuted in television Ads and his face will be blackened and hairs will be erected position’. His comparison was so accurate that I saw the Professor’s face and could not control my laugh. Professor noted me laughing and came to me and gave a hard punch on my back. As I saw him more closely and his features in anger were like charred after electrocuted, I started laughing more. He dismissed me from class. Shortly after my dismissal Sharath followed as he also could not control his laugh. After the class we were declared as heroes as we were dare to laugh on Professor's face.
Then came the supplementary exams in September, 2000, a chance to clear the back logs. This time I decided that I will clear both Chemistry and Botany which were pending from first year. I studied well, but for only 48 hours before exams. This time for chemistry I spent 3 hours in examination hall. Felt good about that. Also the advantage of writing supplementary exams is that the question papers will be easier than main exams as the question paper setters would know that whoever is going to attend will never pass the exams if they are tough. Surprisingly I cleared both the subjects but Shashthri did not. I would like to appreciate this person’s patience and logic for not clearing all the subjects. He would tell that his grand father has advised him that ‘Nidhanave Pradhana’ it’s similar to slow and steady wins the race and told us that he will clear subjects slowly.
I would like to mention about one of our lady Professor. She was short, stocky and had Indira Gandhi hairstyle and she was sworn enemy of men and boys. No body knew the reason, may be some white and black flash back. She used to observe closely the movements of boys and blast them even for silly reason.
I never saw her smiling. I used to think she directly born with an accusing face. Only time I saw her smiling was when Seena shaved his moustache. That day she told to him that he looks like Anant Nag (good actor in Kannada movies) in Bayalu Dhaari movie. Also I could see a hint of blush in her. That whole day we took life of Seena by saying that he has impressed the impossible. Once we all boys mass bunked one of her class. This infuriated her. The same day we attended Chemistry Lab class. The lab was too big and it had 2 exits. Lady Professor entered from front exit and started blasting who were there. We saw the attack and dodged by going out from rear exit. She noticed this but we did not. We concealed ourselves behind a wall. We saw her going back to department. Then we entered lab. I was standing near window and luckily saw that she was coming back with vengeance. I passed the information to Shasthri and Seena but Shasthri was busy talking with some girl. Me and Seena sneaked out. We saw that smart lady locking the front exit before entering from rear exit. Shasthri who was bit late to understand the situation was caught near the door and got maximum blasting.
In another incidence in Botany Lab Karthik did some mischievous thing that angered the Lady professor she grabbed a wooden scale on her table and rushed to hit him as if that would cause pain to him. He the athlete and agile jumped across the table and ran in circles around the table and she chasing him. It was like playing ‘Fire in the mountain, run, run, run…’ We all laughed like crazy people. At last she gave up and slumped in her chair and told ‘Karthik, I know u will be nothing in your life but you can be a good runner’. She was not able to get up from her chair till the class got over but she dint released the scale from her hand thinking that if Karthik comes in striking range she will hit him. He made sure that entire class he was out of striking range.
We all boys organized a trip. Girls were not interested in joining us because they thought we are most spoiled creatures of this world and being with us will contaminate them. We thought we are better off them because with girls around men will act like monkey many times. I decided the places we will visit. We planned to go to Mysore, Madikeri (Coorg), Mangalore, Hassan and back to Bangalore. People who agreed were Me, Shasthri, Seena, Sharath, Karthik, Ravindra, Narendra, Puttaswamy, Ramakrishna, Jaga, Long Mahesh and Girish (our junior). Date was fixed; it was for 3 days and in month of December 2000. Long Mahesh took responsibility of booking vehicle for the trip.
On the day of trip we all reached college at 6 am. But the vehicle came at 1 pm due to some issues. We all cursed Long Mahesh for that. We all reached Halebeedu by 4 pm. We were admiring the sculptures but Girish and someone else tried to write something on sculpture and were caught. Police were called and we all apologized. They told to write a apology letter. We wrote letter in some other college’s name and our name on letter was changed. Someone was Upendra, someone was Rajkumar, some one was Kumarswamy the best was someone was Deve Gowda. We reached Kadur at 7 pm we hit the bar straight. We 3 sat together with Narendra, Rama and Puttaswamy at one table and we ordered Beer. Shasthri acted as perfect Brahmin and settled with Pepsi (now he gulps down a 90 in a second). I and Seena had 5 beers together. During billing somehow we convinced Rama that we had only 4, which he still doubts today. After filling our belly we moved towards Kalasa for spending night. On the way few of the loose stomachs could not with hold the alcohol. It was started by Puttaswamy. He asked driver to stop and went out to puke. Ravindra who saw the puking process of Puttaswamy could not hold and involuntarily puked. This started the chain reaction and almost all puked except me and Sharath.
We reached Kalasa at around 11 pm. We were supposed to spend night in vehicle as we dint had enough money to stay in hotel. As it was winter it was too cold. Me and Sharath decided not to sleep and were roaming all around the town. We parked the vehicle near the police station. Initially we were silent as we were near police station and we were drunk also the door light outside the police station was on. As the night passed everyone’s bladder was too active due to alcohol but there was no any place where it could be released. We searched, but no place near by. We saw that police station’s backyard was empty and no lights but we were still skeptical as any police might see us catch us in action and can take action against us. But no one can control that. I made my mind and did a courageous thing. I moved into backyard cautiously and made sure no one is moving inside the police station and at last released. Everyone followed my example all through the night. We made sure that we left that place by 4 am and reached Horanaadu so that no one from police station is awake. We thought they will be having a surprise in morning. I wondered if they can so poorly defend their backyard how well they can defend people.
That day we reached Mangalore. I always liked seas and oceans. I get spell bind when I see these magnanimous thing. It contains trillion to the power of trillion barrels of water, million species ranging from single celled protozoan to biggest creature blue whale in its belly but on surface it appears so calm and humble. I love to see the beach and admire its humongousness. Me, Shasthri and Seena took a picture against the back drop of setting sun symbolizing that we will be friends till our life’s sun sets (This photo is with Shasthri will post it soon). And our trip came to an end with loads of memories.
At last the most unforgettable memory which was also a turning point in my life. Our Botany professor Siddesh Gowda had expressed concern that CBZ students has not participated in any cultural events performed during college's yearly fest. We just discussed internally that we will do something this year. Ravindra the upcoming movie star said that we will do dance. That day after reaching home I thought we can do a play. I took out paper and pen and started writing. I dint had any inspiration or idea just kept writing by midnight I was ready with a script for a skit. Next day I showed it to everyone. Everyone liked it. I was not sure whether it was good but everyone told it was good. I titled it as ‘Director from Hollywood’; basically it’s a story of director who wants to direct a movie in Kannada. He hires personal Assistant (PA) who will misuse the money given by the director to choose actors. When director comes down to finalize on cast PA will get people who are not so good and unique characters that who will make the director go crazy.
The characters of our skit we were as follows:
1. Director from Hollywood – Narendra
2. PA – Me (initially it was Rama who rejected the offer)
3. Uppi – (Seena) A mad person who is fan of Upendra movies and acts like him.
4. Hero – Long Mahesh (Salman Khan) He wears very less dress to show his body.
5. Heroine – Shasthri (Mandakini, a transvestite) my favorite dialogue of him was ‘I studied in Bishop Cotton’s Boys School and in Mount Carmel women’s college’. Initially he did not agreed to do this character as he thought that it would dampen his image in front of ladies. But I convinced him. I’m really thankful to him that he agreed. Also he was ready to get a clean shave for the performance. Also I’m thankful to Neela and Suma who done make-up to him before the performance.
6. Villain – Ravindra (Shake Abdullah) His specialty was that he will shake involuntarily and whoever touches him will also shake.
7. Dialogue writer – (Rama) He will have poor eye sight
I was surprised when everyone liked the story and script. Also they encouraged me to direct the skit. So I did. We had a great time rehearsing it. We did it for almost 2 months. Also we came to know whoever participates in cultural program will get 75% attendance, this made us to concentrate more on that. The college fest was organized in month of Feb 2001.
We had one more hurdle to cross before performing on stage. We were supposed to perform in front of so called ‘panel of experts’ who would choose the program that will be performed on the D-day. We were nervous thinking that if our program is not chosen what will happen to our attendance. Some how, we did and were able to get a slot in evening. On the D-day we were all prepared. But there was an issue. So many programs were chosen that they started deleting programs and ending the boring programs in the middle of performance. I was so worried that all our efforts would go in vain. I was seeing people practiced ready with costumes were being told that their act or dance cannot be staged due to time constraints. I’m in great debt to Long Mahesh who used his influence in seniors and got a slot for us.
Finally we were on stage. For the first time in my life I was on stage. Gastric juice in my stomach poured down when I saw nearly 1000 people seated and waiting for me to speak. We did, we performed. Everyone was so excited on stage that they did things for real. I’m sorry for Narendra who got real slaps and punches. There was one funny incidence which I would like to share. In a scene, Hero will punch Director and chases Villain, Villain escapes by moving in between Hero’s legs and I will be holding wrathful director to console him. On stage Hero punched Narendra so hard that he fell down and I dint know when villain started running I thought I need to hold someone so I got hold of Hero. Hero started telling me ‘Maga, leave my hand’. I asked ‘Why?’, he replied ‘Ravindra is squeezing in between my legs I can’t move’. Then I realized I was supposed to hold director and I searched for him poor fellow was moaning in pain holding his stomach on the floor of stage. But the saddest part was our play was stopped at 10 mins, actual time was 15 mins. We all felt bad but had a satisfaction that we performed on stage. Back stage we were so excited we all started showing our excitement on Shasthri and his dress.
We were informed that the programs performed will be aired in some local channel. All were looking forward to see themselves on television. I was worried thinking that they will edit our program we were not allowed to perform completely on stage. Also that local channel was not aired where I resided. We all decided that we will watch it in Long Mahesh’s home. But on the day I got some urgent personal work and could not go. I regret till date that I dint watched it. Everyone else watched it. Good news was that our program was not edited. All other flashy programs before ours were deleted. We thought even the channel people liked our program. After that relay many people in college started recognizing us. Especially Seena for his Uppi performance, Shasthri for his role and everyone else. Professor Siddesh Gowda was happy. Even other lecturers appreciated us. We all felt good.
The support provided by my friends made me to realize that I have something in me as a writer and director. Even they did encouraged me to take up that as career and I was ready for it. But life had some other plans for me. But I'm thankful to them if they would have not supported me that day I would not have written this.
Exams time again. This time relatively I did well and was able to get second class. Which surprised all thinking that when did I get time to study in between all this chaos. Even Seena cleared all subject. Shasthri was still slow and steady and kept few subjects pending. With this we ended our second year and were ready to face the final year, which was also filled with non-stop fun and excitement.
In the final year I saw someone special.
To be continued…….
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